Yes, I have experienced THE ROOM, easily the most Godawful piece of celluloid crap I have ever had the joy to witness. In the words of Dorothy Parker, "I
could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better film."
Written, directed, produced, starrin g(HA!) Tommy Wiseau. He probably also did the Craft Services. Tommy's acting is best described as too exhausted to even try to open his eyes. He speaks like an idiot savant mixture of a Romanian gypsy and Iron Eyes Cody, or, closer still, a stroke victim who learned how to speak English from a translation program on Google. With a little Ahnold thrown in. Half the time, I couldn't understand his muttering, and sometimes he doesn't even finish a sentance. Good God, the man is either a genius or really deluded (watch the director interview on the disc for a real treat). The other actors fare little better, usually hovering between hysteria nd screaming.
Johnny's an all around good guy, who has frighteningly awkward sex with his fiance. Really, their groins never come close to meeting. He's thrashinga round on her belly button or something. His best friend is a hiottie with a beard named Mark. Every once in a while, a 16 year old kid just lets himself into the apartment where Tommy and his fiance live, once even jumping into bed with him. Well, he does have that drug problem and the dude trying to kill him. The fiance is a sociopath (the film's words) who has decided she doesn't love him anymore, although she sure puts up a good front. Hey, there's that exact same sex scene again! She has also decided to make Mark fall in love with her. And her mother is a controlling woman who shows up every ten minutes or so to complain and say she just got breast cancer, then never mentions that again! Meanwhile, another couple, I have no idea who, use the apartment for sex, interrupted by the mother. So everyone goes to the roof. Oh, and guys play football in tuxedos. Please don't ask me why.
Incomprehensible, horribly acted, and "continuity. We don't need no stinking continuity." It also quotes many old, actually good films like AUNTIE MAME, REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, and THE GODFATHER. I have never seen anything like it. And the title means NOTHING. There is no room!
However, I have devised the ultimate drinking game for this movie! You must drink every time someone plays with a football, says Hi to someone (they all greet each other as if the audience has never been introduced to these folks..."Hi Tommy. Hi Mime. Hi Danny. Hi Mike....oh wait, sometimes we haven't been introduced.) and chug a beer every time someone wails "How can you do this to me?" or in Tommy Wiseau's case HM CN EDOTIS TA MEEEE
Dear Lord.
Bill
Written, directed, produced, starrin g(HA!) Tommy Wiseau. He probably also did the Craft Services. Tommy's acting is best described as too exhausted to even try to open his eyes. He speaks like an idiot savant mixture of a Romanian gypsy and Iron Eyes Cody, or, closer still, a stroke victim who learned how to speak English from a translation program on Google. With a little Ahnold thrown in. Half the time, I couldn't understand his muttering, and sometimes he doesn't even finish a sentance. Good God, the man is either a genius or really deluded (watch the director interview on the disc for a real treat). The other actors fare little better, usually hovering between hysteria nd screaming.
Johnny's an all around good guy, who has frighteningly awkward sex with his fiance. Really, their groins never come close to meeting. He's thrashinga round on her belly button or something. His best friend is a hiottie with a beard named Mark. Every once in a while, a 16 year old kid just lets himself into the apartment where Tommy and his fiance live, once even jumping into bed with him. Well, he does have that drug problem and the dude trying to kill him. The fiance is a sociopath (the film's words) who has decided she doesn't love him anymore, although she sure puts up a good front. Hey, there's that exact same sex scene again! She has also decided to make Mark fall in love with her. And her mother is a controlling woman who shows up every ten minutes or so to complain and say she just got breast cancer, then never mentions that again! Meanwhile, another couple, I have no idea who, use the apartment for sex, interrupted by the mother. So everyone goes to the roof. Oh, and guys play football in tuxedos. Please don't ask me why.
Incomprehensible, horribly acted, and "continuity. We don't need no stinking continuity." It also quotes many old, actually good films like AUNTIE MAME, REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, and THE GODFATHER. I have never seen anything like it. And the title means NOTHING. There is no room!
However, I have devised the ultimate drinking game for this movie! You must drink every time someone plays with a football, says Hi to someone (they all greet each other as if the audience has never been introduced to these folks..."Hi Tommy. Hi Mime. Hi Danny. Hi Mike....oh wait, sometimes we haven't been introduced.) and chug a beer every time someone wails "How can you do this to me?" or in Tommy Wiseau's case HM CN EDOTIS TA MEEEE
Dear Lord.
Bill
